We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
