Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
