So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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