You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
