I wannas sexs uuuuu
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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