on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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