It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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