Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
