Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
