things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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