In the future we'll all be gay
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize