when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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