oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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