Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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