Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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