So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize