I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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