How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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