Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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