That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
