we have officially lost it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
