I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
that's an acceptable place to lick
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
