Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
