Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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