What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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