The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
