YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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