So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize