I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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