I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
