what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
