No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
