moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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