in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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