I heard we made out
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
