if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
