mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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