ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
