Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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