Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
