I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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