What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
In America we eat man semen.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize
