I want to walk on stilts...naked
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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