so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
