my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you had me at cake vodka
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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