i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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