Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
