i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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