Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
