I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
