I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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