I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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