Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
