what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
