Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
