He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There's always time for handjobs
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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