omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
