They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
