I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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